The Solution to Resolutions

22:18

Now, raise your hands if you have made any New Year's Resolutions for this year? Raise your hands if you've broken any of them already?  Raise your hands if you never make any and think they're pointless?  If my guessing is correct, I'm pretty sure all of you would have raised your hand and nodded your head either confidently...or not so confidently if the already breaking of the resolution you gave yourself has already occurred.

This blog post was inspired by seeing an assortment of different statuses and comments by friends on Facebook who were either stating how determined and ready they were to face the year ahead with their resolutions in tow, along with the odd few who had openly declared how they have failed themselves already this early on, Exhibit A:

4 January at 13:53 ·
I stupidly made a New Years resolution and I have broken it twice. SHAME.

A common thing that happens with some people is that by the time it reaches March you've already forgotten New Year's Eve and Day and your living your life swimming in mountains of chocolate and ice cream like you never even contemplated making a resolution and the only reason you feel guilty is because you feel sick and bloated the next day, again not even laying a thought that it was number one on your lists of resolutions.

Setting incredibly hard tasks for yourself to accomplish within a year is hard if you don't have the entire drive and self discipline for it. Fact.  Resolutions may work for some of you and for others it may not be the way forward at all, but there is still something very positive about looking ahead at another year and wanting to make some changes that will benefit your life or the life of others.  So rather than setting yourself ambitious resolutions on 31st December every year if you find them difficult or they're not for you, why not just mark out some very achievable goals.
Here's my theory about goals.  Yes there's something really refreshing and freeing about the New Year with forgetting what has passed and hopefully moving on to greener pastures, but shouldn't we always be wanting to improve on areas and not just when it's the beginning of the year?  Let's face it, none of us are perfect and there is always something no matter how big or small that we all wish was a little different.  However, the hard truth is that if you feel like there's an area of your life you want to refine, it takes you making that step because no one else is going to change it for you.

As humans we are both so hard on ourselves yet also still don't give ourselves a chance at all.  So rather than getting ahead of yourself or not giving yourselves a push to change some things and being cynical about resolutions, why not do yourself a favour and instead, set goals.  Little mini achievements you can make.  Like I said in my first blog post, all it takes is one little step to start a movement and it makes walking in bigger strides easier.  You're probably thinking, "what do you mean when you say goals though? Aren't they just the same thing?"  Why not look at them in three of what are considered the most important areas when it comes to this topic with some examples:

YOURSELF
DAILY GOALS
Now this can be anything you want it to be that you want to do a little better in.  Let's take 'switching off'.  A lot of us work and do different things in our day and find it difficult to switch off at the end of the day.  If you know that you get anxious about responding to emails, you're keen to stay on top of what's happening on social media or you frantically like to make lists until there are lists coming out of your ears, stop.  Know when to stop.  Give yourself the task of not doing it, unless it's urgent and crucial.  Just because you work from home doesn't mean that you shouldn't set a limit for yourself as well.  The emails can wait, people can respect that, your inbox will still be there tomorrow, your ability to type will still be there tomorrow.  Same goes to social media, it will always be there, you won't 'miss' anything and if you do, that's what search engines are for. 
HEALTH
Wanting your body to look a certain way is one thing, but wanting to have a healthy body is crucial.  Instead of saying "I'm going to go cold turkey on chocolate", set a goal of being a little more conscious of when you're eating too much of it.  I'm not going to sit here and tell you to stop eating chocolate and eat a piece of fruit instead.  Yes fruit is great, but so is chocolate, just be aware if you're regular eating habits are probably not going to be beneficial for you in the long run.

OTHERS
Assuming the people around you probably play a significant part in your life, remember to love them well.  Conversations, spending time with one another, checking in and encouraging.  All very little things that shouldn't feel like a chore.  "But I have so much to do and I live really far away from most of my friends, so it's not as easy as you think."  Ever heard of a telephone, email, letters in the post...or in a bottle or by bird?  Communication is at our fingertips at present and despite being so connected we can be so disconnected at the same time.  Fair enough if physically spending time with someone may be a little more complex in some cases but we can make things happen if we really want them to even if it's just once a month.  Telling someone how much you appreciate them, having a good conversation with them whether it be about mundane things or about global warming, make the effort.  If they are a friend you value and care about, you should always want to further and deepen that relationship.  Relationships are important.  People are important.

WIDER COMMUNITY
GIVE
We accumulate so much stuff, a lot of things we don't need and there are a lot of people who could do with those things.  Go through some of those things, fill a small black bag, (or big, if while rummaging though your belongings, you discover you're more of a hoarder than you realised) and donate it all to your local charity shop.  Every few months or however regularly or frequently you can, have a clear out. You'll be doing both yourself and someone else a favour.  There are obviously many other methods of giving out there but this is a small start.
SMILE!
You know what makes a difference to someone's day? When someone acknowledges them and shows kindness.  You all have beautiful faces, so use that smile! There will be days when you've got very little emailing to do while you're on the bus to the station or you're waiting to read the last chapter of your book till you get home, that you would usually read on the way home from work on the tube, or you don't have your headphones so you can't listen to music while you're walking down the street.  On those days, make a deal with yourself to acknowledge people and smile! A smile can instantly change the atmosphere in a room and speaking of chocolate,

“Smiling stimulates our brain’s reward mechanisms in a way that even chocolate, a well-regarded pleasure-inducer, cannot match.”

Now all of that may seem like a lot but when you think about how much effort it takes to do those each day at a time in comparison to going straight ahead on in to something you haven't prepared for, it's possible to make each day count in the little, big things that will hopefully benefit the future too.

Another plus is that by setting goals to continue throughout the rest of the year, or however long you want to do them for, there's less chance of you 'failing' completely.  If you end up drinking all that alcohol that you said you wouldn't drink, you'll beat yourself up about  it, ultimately then feeling like there's no point in even trying, continue drinking excessively for the rest of the year and then try and give it up again next year.  Whereas if your goal is to just drink a little less because you want to take care of your health, that's more achievable and who knows, you may end up stop drinking completely next year without having to set a resolution or goal on it.  If your goals are doing a little less of this, doing a little more of that etc. it makes the journey of it all more memorable and significant, because you can look back in 300-odd days and say, "I'm so proud of myself, this part of my life has changed significantly and has made a great impact on others around me too."
Setting yourself smaller goals, is more likely achievable for most because change doesn't happen overnight.  If that's not the best solution for you fine, you can stop and assess why it wouldn't work and what would work instead i.e. if you need to take things slower or be more efficient about things, but why not try it, what have you got to lose?

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